Only In The Darkness…

I’ve spent much of my time lately looking inward, wondering what my future will look like, wondering how to find my way out of darkness. I’m realizing the grey areas are where we start figuring things out. We find contrast. We gain perspective. We learn and move forward differently than we came.

This is a place I’ve often found myself in while grieving. It hit me for the first time that my Dad isn’t coming back. For the FIRST TIME since November 19th. Yet I’ve still found myself going back to safety and swimming ashore, denying sadness and pain. I’ve learned this is a common response to grief. We slowly wade in and out of the water, to avoid drowning in these feelings all at once.

This is a note for both you and myself, to remember it’s okay to step into the water when we feel ready, and to hurry back to shore when the current feels too strong. As long as we try again.

sunlight & insight™ was created summer of 2015 to share the experience of my Dad’s cancer diagnosis, and how that’s transformed into grieving his loss.

Alicia Napierkowski is a freelance writer and designer. She has been published in The Huffington Post, Thought Catalog, as well as across Medium. You can find a complete list of her work at alicianapierkowski.com.
Say hello: alicia.napierkowski@gmail.com.